Summer's here, I'm beach bound and I need something to read. I hate the beach but the man I'm with loves sunbathing. Before I met him I never stepped foot on a beach in the summer. Why would you? . Sand's fun right. It follows you home in the car. Hides in every crack and crevise and at 45, I've got a few more cracks and crevices than I did when I was twenty. Plus you've got to hide from the sun or else you're playin' connect the liver spots. No if I'm at the beach I'm on a blanket under an umbrella hopefully lost in a book. (now that you've got a good Jessica Tandy visual, let's begin).
Before you start hollerin' titles at me let me state this for the record: I won't waste the strength it would take to open my eyelids for an author like Maeve Binchy or Danielle Steel. I can hear you now, "Oh what's your pleasure Adam, shall we dive into the classics, Charles Dickens perhaps or Leo Tolstoy". No. I have those books. They're the ones I place in front of the actual books I'm reading. (I even have 'the perfect fake reading glasses' for those books). Oh who am I kidding. I'm reading everything at arms length if I can't find my dollar store specs. Where was I? Oh yeah.
Look I'm no scholar that's clear but I do want to find that perfect book. You know the one I'm talking about. For some it was that first Twilight book. For me it was the first time I picked up The Hobbit. Man I loved that book. And then the Lord of the Rings. (Yeah, school was fun! Gay and a nerd. It get better kids honestly). I still reread those books to this day.
More recently I've purchased Sarah Silverman's autobiography "The Bedwetter" and Chelsea handler's "Lies that Chelsea Handler Told Me". I'm a sucker for a smart deranged woman that can make me laugh.
So that should be enough Information right? Let the onslaught begin. Make it rain! Make it rain! Books I mean, although I will dance for your cash. See ya at the beach pretending to read Tolstoy ;).
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