Let's start with the wetsuit. I needed two people and a rubber sling just to get the boots on. 'Member how on the red carpet at the Oscars all the stars thank their hair and makeup crew. Well that's my nephew Nick and my brother in law Greg folding fat and love handles and zipping me in. I would like to thank them for minimizing my humiliation.
Honestly? I think the surf shop was messing with me. That suit was 2 times too small. Or I have fat in places that shouldn't and a doctor's appointment should be booked. Remember when when they tried to fly Chris Farley off the SNL update desk and they couldn't and he just hung there sagging his head and moaning "I'm fat". Well then, you know the space I was in. After that was sorted out we took a picture worthy of Surfer Magazine below
Nice Wha? Nick and Noah, my nephews are flanking both sides of me (why I took a picture with those two bone racks next to me I don't know, my feller is next to Noah. He's as ramrod straight as his surfboard).
Then the real fun began. I wasn't prepared for the power of the wave action. I'm guessing here but some of the 'bigger' waves were around 3 or 4 feet and when you're rolling around in the breakwater wondering if your surfboard is going to smack you for your foolishness, the wave action is pummelling you like Tyson would in his prime. They are no pictures of me standing on the surfboard because I can't stand on the surfboard. I can't sit on it either. Holding onto it was difficult. I tried to lay on it but the board was having none of that. Surfboards are hard!
It was truly an eye opening experience and I loved every second of it. The wetsuit was warm and we spent more than 3 hours in the water.
I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror and counted 6 bruises. They made me smile. I took a beating, and I'll take more. Ocean 1 - Adam 0 but I'll see you this Tuesday for a rematch.
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